Circus Central

I suppose I expect every guy I like to like me back .

I suppose I expect every guy I hate to not leave me alone .

Maybe one day when I realize truely that there ARE guys that look at me everyday, I'll not be so depressed about the one guy who doesn't.

I suppose I turn most people off , and a select few on .

I suppose I'm the only person who thinks I'm genually ugly .

Maybe when I realize that if I'm fine with being weird around my friends and not my crush, I'll stop worrying about what he thinks.

I suppose I'm the only person who can make the right decision and then regret it later .

I suppose I'm the only person who can tell others what to do and then do the same , and wish I had been a hypocrite.

Maybe I'll realize doing the right thing should be a good thing, and start doing the right thing more often.

I suppose I could tell myself many times that I will or will not do something, and then do the complete opposite.

I suppose I could say that I'll clean my room and stop cussing, but it's like drugs..

I don't care if my room is dirty, but I feel better when it's clean.

My friends nor do I mine if I cuss, but what if one say it just slips out in front of an adult?

In an interview, at a press confrence?

What if I become famous, and I'm some type of role model at age 15 for little boys and girls, and my makeup bag falls out in the airport and I exclaim "Oh shit!' in front of reporters that would exploit me and destroy my career?

I suppose I know I'm not a great poet. I'm no Robert Frost. But I

I suppose I know I'm not the most popular person in the clique I want to hang out with, but I know I might be pretty popular in the clique I'm supposed to be in.

I suppose I know that I might like looking at scene kids, but I know I'm downright girly with a sporty touch. I will admit I went through a phase where I thought I wanted to be like that, and I thought..

Is that how I want to make my hair?

Is that what I want to listen to?

Is that what I want to buy?

Is that the store I want to basically live in?

Maybe I just need to pursue what I KNOW I can do.

Maybe I need too stop trying to IMPRESS everybody,

and start just impressing MYSELF.

Maybe I also need to stop writing bad poetry? XD

-mariahh(;