Circus Central

Here are some good "When life gives you lemons" jokes! (kudos to stardustnight! She made most of them up ) www.freewebs.com/stardustnight

When life gives you lemons, cut them up into tiny pieces and use them to garnish a cesar salad.

When life gives you lemons, stick a file in it and give it to some old dude in prison.

When life gives you lemons, make George Bush swallow the whole thing. Hehe: he'll have a hard time pooping THAT one out.

When life gives you lemons, stuff the whole thing down a monkey's throat and watch him choke, then save him and become an animal hero.

When life gives you lemons, use it as invisiable ink!

When life gives you lemons, sell them to Mariah White. She'll make more sayings.

When life gives you lemons, go squeeze them into your rival's eyes.

Whe life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand cookies.

Yep :) That's the joke page! Scroll down for Yo Mama! Jokes :)

Introducing: YO MAMA JOKES! YAYYYY!

(MAJOR MAJOR kudos to stardustnight. AGAIN. She pretty much does this entire page! I just write it )

Yo mama so fat, when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up

Yo mama so fat, her nickname is "Lardo"

Yo mama so fat, she eats Wheat Thicks.

Yo mama so fat, we are in her right now

Yo mama so fat, people jog around her for exercise

Yo mama so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone, nobody ever saw them again.

Yo mama so fat, she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors

Yo mamma so fat, you haveta roll over twice to get off her

Yo mama so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for their new world

Yo mama so fat, she lay on the beach and people run around yelling "Free Willy!"

Yo mama so fat, when you get on top of her hand, she has to give directions!

Yo mama so fat, she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"

Yo mama so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"

Yo mama so fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized

Yo mama so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway

Yo mama so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller, and it's still not enough

Yo mama so fat, she has to pull down her pants to get into her pockets

Yo mama so fat, when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th

Yo mama so fat, when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

Yo mama so fat, the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"

Yo mama so fat, when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

Yo mama so fat, when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"

Yo mama so fat, when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

Yo mama so fat, she fell in love and broke it.

Yo mama so fat, when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Yo mama so fat, when she gets on the scale it says "we don't do livestock."

Yo mama so fat, her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!

Yo mama so fat, she's got her own area code!

Yo mama so fat, she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!

Yo mama so fat, God couldn't light Earth until she moved!

Yo mama so fat, NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!

Yo mama so fat, whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

Yo mama so fat, when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...

Yo mama so fat, she's got Amtrak written on her leg.

Yo mama so fat, even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!

Yo mama so fat, her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!

Yo mama so fat, I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!

Yo mama so fat, she wakes up in sections!

Yo mama so fat, when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!

Yo mama so fat, she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.

Yo mama so fat, she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!

Yo mama so fat, when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!

Yo mama so fat, when she bunje jumps she goes straight to "who-knows-whats.."

Yo mama so fat, when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck

Yo mama so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book!

Yo mama so fat, that her senior pictures had to be arial views!

Yo mama so fat, she's on both sides of the family!

Yo mama so fat, everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!

Yo mama so fat, she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

Yo mama so fat, she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!

Yo mama so fat, even her clothes have stretch marks!

Yo mama so fat, she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!

Yo mama so fat, she has to use a VCR as a beeper!

Yo mama so fat, she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!

Yo mama so fat, when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!

Yo mama so fat, she got hit by a parked car!

Yo mama so fat, they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!

Yo mama so fat, she has a run in her blue-jeans!

Yo mama so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.

Yo mama so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets.

Yo mama so fat, when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.

Yo mama so fat, she influences the tides.

Yo mama so fat, that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.

Yo mama so fat, the animals at the zoo feed her.

Yo mama so fat, when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.

Yo mama so fat, the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her

Yo mama so fat, she stands in two time zones.

Yo mama so fat, she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.

Yo mama so fat, you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through

Yo mama so fat, when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

Yo mama so fat, that she can't tie her own shoes.

Yo mama so fat, she sets off car alarms when she runs.

Yo mama so fat, she can't reach her back pocket.

Yo mama so fat, when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back!

Yo mama so fat, she uses redwoods to pick her teeth

Yo mama so fat, the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures

Yo mama so fat, she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.

Yo mama so fat, she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.

Yo mama so fat, she uses a mattress for a tampon.

Yo mama so fat, that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.

Yo mama so fat, she hoola-hooped the super bowl.

Yo mama so fat, they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.

Yo mama so fat, when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"

Yo mama so fat, when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!

Yo mama so fat, that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.

Yo mama so fat, we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.